Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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