Kiss
Puke
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
