How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
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