Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
