went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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