When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
