That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
We got so high we made milksteak
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
