I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Your tits are I can't wait for
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize