Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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