I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
