just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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