Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Houston, we have a blender
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Randomize
