Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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