When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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