so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
