i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
