It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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