i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
