Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
