When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
