just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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