New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
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