normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
