yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He felt like a one man threesome
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
they're like a gay fantastic four
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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