i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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