I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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