Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
