I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
