That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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