meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
