what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
