that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
