you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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