I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
