Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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