this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
