What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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