dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
