Got a toothbrush?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
