btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Randomize
