ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
