I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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