Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
