So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
