I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize