i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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