Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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