you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
