I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She even gives head with a lisp.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
