The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize