i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize