"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
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I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
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hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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