So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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