i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
