Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
