Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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