yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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