grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
This house was built for laser tag.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
