im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Randomize
