My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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