Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
