Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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