i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
