Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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