Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
